I know that I am not the only one who is waiting for spring to arrive here in Southwestern Ontario. I have hope that eventually the weather will turn warmer, the mountains of snow will melt away and instead of shivering under layers of blankets, I will be sweating in the 40+ C degree heat of summer. I am not sure what I like better!? I am not sure that it matters. The weather, which comes to no surprise to anyone, is top of mind lately. I wonder if people have the same anxiety over changes in the weather where the climate is a little more moderate and constant? Maybe. Maybe I would just complain about the mild temperature and the rain or wind rather than the heavy snow or an extreme heat wave. Dunno. Don’t really care. I just want spring.
Today is my first day back to work after having the lumpectomy. Recovery has been slower than I thought it would be, and I still have random waves of pain, but I am definitely mending. I am still waiting for the pathology results to come back. I am trying sincerely not to think about what they might be and what I will do if I have to go into further treatment. By do I mean, how I will rearrange my life to make things work. It is a bridge I can cross only when the time comes. In an ideal world, the surgeons will have removed everything that was troublesome, and having caught the cancer early enough, I will not have to make any more trips to St. Joseph’s Hospital at least for another six months or year possibly. That would be my ideal at this point. I am glad that they followed my case closely though and that everything we have done, I have done, to this point has been the right step forward. I have learned a few things along the way about myself. That might just be the most valuable lesson of all. I also learned that morphine and I do not get along. Something that is good to know, should I have to have surgery again sometime in the future!
I am looking forward. In anticipation of being able to get outside and wander again, I have been making lists of places that I would like to travel to with my camera. I have been letting myself dream a little more and most of all I am getting back to the brush again (now that it doesn’t hurt to pick one up!). What really has gotten me through the past year or so has been getting out of my own way and letting that creative spark grab a hold of me. Now that I am starting to feel better, I am going to run with it while I can.
Even if I have a few mountains of snow to leap over in the meantime.