There are few things that I dislike more than making a new year’s resolution. I tend to go against the grain at this time of year. I especially don’t enjoy trying to force myself into a new health regime or diet; in part because I don’t want to jump on any bandwagons or do something because everyone else is doing it but also because I live a pretty healthy life already. Yesterday, however, I was suddenly overcome with the feeling to resolve to do something in the new year. This is what I wrote:
“I am not a huge fan of making resolutions or setting goals for the new year. I admire people who do, and who follow through. I am not looking to lose weight or change my diet (have already done that, and have had some success getting some things under control, like thyroid and gallbladder but waiting to see how the big C is doing next week). I am not looking to stop any bad habits – other than maybe picking and tearing my nails which happens out of nervousness and anxiety. I am however looking to do something new or actually return to doing after not making the time to.
So for the new year I will be taking voice lessons. I will be getting back to the brush/ pen again and continuing on with learning some new instruments. I may or may not decide to get back on stage but if I do I probably won’t tell anyone. I will get in front of the camera more, spend more time with the people I care about and finally send one of the many manuscripts I have kicking around here out for review. I will try something new whenever I can. I will invite good things and healing into my life and allow the year that has just past to rest in memory. I may or may not give in to wearing socks.”
It has been a long time (21 years) since I last stood on a stage to act and sing. I have avoided getting back involved in any kind of performance because I developed stage fright. I think voice lessons might help me get some confidence back. Definitely bringing music back – playing more and learning new instruments helped me last year and will continue to this year. I have no intention really to get on stage, at least not at this point. The same goes for writing and creating art. Learning and creating for me are very healing, and I have some healing to do still.
The one I probably won’t do or at least not willingly is wear socks. It will only be because it is too darn cold outside to go barefoot.