I did not ask

I did not ask 

After the sun had left

For anything

Not in the darkness

Or the darkest part of the night

As the rain fell outside

And sirens wailed

Somewhere in the streets

I did not ask one word

In the stillness 

Within the walls of

Concrete and plaster

But I lay within listening

To the wind dance 

With autumn raindrops

Waiting for sleep to steal in 

Between one breath

and the next

The weight of knowing 

Like pouring honey over

A hornets’ nest

until no longer 

Can I stay in place

To receive the consequence

Or help those

Who must bear it

I should have asked 

To be taken

Like a leaf newly turned

Dropped from the limb

Swept up from the ground

By the wind then left

Plastered by the rain

On some other window

Waiting to be seen

To be discovered in time

Then discarded long enough

To return to the soil

I know well

I should have asked 

To scream my silence

Pierce the night

Until dawn broke in 

And let the light reveal

As it could

I should have

But could not

Instead in the darkness

Waiting 

Wrapped in blankets 

against the chill

I listen to the rainfall

And imagine parts of me

Washing away with it

Into the deep night

Hoping dreams

Will take me there

~

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