lei fraser

I wanted silence
after days of noise
and tears
heartbreak
silence
instead of music
birdsong or
conversation

I wanted darkness
to sit on my chest
and suffocate me
squash the light
from the corners
of my closed eyes
instead of opening
my heart to the sun

I wanted nothing
to fill the hole
left by a life undone
empty cups of tea
unsent letters
forgotten dreams
instead of stepping up
arms wide to gather

but that is not
the way of things
not at all