lei fraser

the day draws itself against the wall
in long shadows, a reluctant warrior
and blade against the coming night
why this? My mind wrestles against it
each has its own beauty, peace, completeness
not alone, of course, but because of the other…
perhaps the shadows are the reminder
shifting along the terrace
the ribbon to join the day and night
and when the day rests in the arms of the night
the shadows rest with her
until the morning draws them both up again
the day taking her lover’s memory with her,
to walk each hour each minute each second
with her while awake
just as the night has the moon
to reflect his lover’s face.
~

The tree’s shadow draws me closer and
I am soon resting in the cool grass
Head pressed back against the rough bark
It reminds me that everything cannot be smooth
Or neat or tidy or perfect
Only in its own way
Deep breath captures me
As leaves spill around me like rain
The tree is bleeding red and gold
And I lift my hand up to hold one leaf
Floating towards me
Just beyond my grasp
Then the wind picks up, and the leaf turns away
To follow a new current
And I simply sit
As the moment holds me
~

Impatience slips in beside me, pressed close
As is if there could be no room between breaths to
Shift and get more space between us
Squabbles and minced words buzz and fly around my head
Like drunken bees in the late autumn sun
Why can they not lay down and rest
Listen to the breeze shaking itself through the leaves
Why can’t they be silent was the whisper of the butterfly’s wing
Instead they proudly rant on,
This is the way , only through this door can you see the truth
The answers in green toenail polish
I say.
~

I want so much to reach out to you
and hold your hand,
To feel the warm of your skin against my palm
The strength that flows through
I am too shy to reach out
And instead stand in agony of stubbornness
When my arms cry out to hold you
Not as a possession
But simply out of love
One that I cannot explain
But know is there
Instead silence grips my throat
~

Candle light in the mirror,
A dancing reflection of quiet contemplation
While I sit, mulling over the contents of another day
A sparkling laugh like shining sun through the window
A selfless gift from a cherished friend,
Shapes a smile on an otherwise sullen face
The mirrors in the hallways, the rooms,
no longer show the unseen corners, the lurking shadows
The nightmares that cannot find words in daylight,
but the faintest glimmer of something more
My face a flash in the space of this breath and the next one,
flesh drawn out and over a lifetime of
Heartache and shame, sorrow and joy
No trace of the unfolding butterfly
ripe with internal yearning,
Waiting until the time comes to unfurl
What hope can be found in this silvered glass?
What kernel of light, of love, of freedom?
Then, as the sunlight faded,
drawing out the stars from their slumber
How can I not slip to the floor beside them
and listen in awed silence
while the words I love you
are sung from their lips
And their kisses….their embrace
more like the butterfly than I
A smile sneaks passed the melancholy sentinels
a warm and tender caress that smoothes the creases
of worry , and shadowed pain
something in me, unfolds once more
I see myself reflected perfectly
in their laughing eyes, that betrays wisdom
beyond the years held in their bones
I find my place to wander from,
in the whole of my daughters’ eyes
~

Unseen dancer whispering
Through swaying pines
Coursing blood force flows
Through this endless forest
River winds below
Bending around boulders
Tumbling and spilling over soil and stone
While the silent sentinel,
Talons firmly planted, sits
Watchful eye scans the horizon
Sudden rush
Upward spiral
To join the dance
~

two pebbles make their slow descent
Into the ocean’s wide embrace
Water swirls and turns over hard surfaces
As the pebbles fall together
What is not seen…
Hidden treasure beneath their solid appearance?
Pockets of emptiness,
Filled by each wave’s gentle caress
This blind wonder, this beauty
Joining two in an endless water dance
Suspended
No separation
Always, only one
Until we rest on the ocean’s sandy floor
~

Stones crackle underfoot
An expectant melody
As the moon lets fall its silver light
Through the darkened gum trees
Overhead myriad stars pass
Love’s sentinels brightly shining,
Jewels in the ebony ocean
Through night’s waves slowly dancing
Shadows meet to linger
in this breathless silence
Immersed in the moon’s
Vast shimmering embrace
Shadows still intertwined draw away
As the sun yawns sleepily
Climbing leaf and bough
Over the top of every tree
Until the dew’s glistening kiss
Lights on the rose’s upturned face
Held forever in this sacred moment’s
eternal grace
~

The breeze through the window
Reminds me of a moment long past
And just as fleeting dissolves away
Like waves crashing against a rocky shore
My mind wrestles against
A tide of memory
What dreams lay caught
In the wispy curtains
Hanging against the window
Waiting to be shaken loose
With the dust of absence and solitude?
Laying my head against the back of my chair
I chase the light from my eyes
And follow the internal path of my next breath
~

Walk with me, dear one,
as the evening draws me closer.
The velvet blanket of night wraps around me,
as the sun slips behind the trees,
I am ready to sleep among the pine needles and maple trees.

In this last light, take my hand,
while I hold your heart close to me.
Let me embrace you once more.
I feel your warm touch against my palm,
and your kiss against my eyelids.

Come, let me tell you of my life…
It has unfolded before me like the blossom of a flower,
one petal, then one more.
Music has grown in the heart of me, with each new dawn.
Light has flown me through the clouds and love has brought me home.

Stillness and peace lies all around,
in this the autumn of my life.
My only wish for you now,
is to know that we live under the same sky,
we sing with the same voice,
and we are one – always.

Good night my love,
I sleep now cradled in the ocean’s azure light.
If you miss me, when I am gone,
look in your heart and I will be there,
holding you close again.
~

I sit, lost in my own thoughts
The grey clouds hang low
Covering the treetops with
A misty mantle
All is still, waiting…
I turn my cup of tea around in my hand
I feel its warmth against my palm
Like a lover’s kiss
The rain begins to fall
I watch it hit the window
One drop at a time, then
Slide down the glass to
The puddle on the ledge below
When the rain stops and
The sun unveils itself
I know my life will be
Reflected in every remaining drop
Just as it is
~

Paddle dips into clear, still lake
Pulled through,
Then drawn up again
I kneel in the canoe’s hull
Bowing reverently to all around
With each broad stroke I take
Paddle rests on the gunnel
As water swirls below
And drips steadily from the paddle’s wooden edge
Each drop after the other
Forms a silver thread
To connect me completely
With each drop’s ripple
Gliding silently through the mist
Distant call of the lone loon
Kisses my ears “I am home”
Pine bows at water’s edge
Each branch emerald protector
Fallen logs lie half submerged
Near the shore,
Thinly veiled threat
In the stillness, I pass through
Just as the wind passes
Over the lake,
Through each pine needle
And beyond
~