lei fraser

the day has me by the throat
and pressed to the door
a push to stare through tempered glass
at the week ahead.
calendar marked black
every day
every night
and the last day will have to be
for rest only
or laundry
because no other day will fit.
unless I choose to walk naked
in the days to follow
air pulls out from my lungs
heavy sigh
failure to breathe
I cannnot juggle
and this is why.
~

stepping into mud
foot pressed
I feel it through my chest
heavy in the heart
with head low
the sky rumbles
in disagreement
pushed down further
wanting only rest
left behind
printed in clay
until the rain falls
to erase me
~

the rumour of spring
tiptoed across the branches
above my head
and tripped over the tip
before landing
on the soft ground at me feet
we dissolve together
laughing
I have missed you
your sunshine kisses
and warm gentle breezes.
stay close for a little while longer
please.
~

I did not know the way
turned against the flow of traffic
to wander down quieter streets
music played while I walked
people shouted to each other
birds sang

Walking reminded me of breathing
a step forward a breath inward
and so I continued
the street became a path
the path became grass
the grass became sand
the sand became water

I do not know the way
yet here I am
turned against the flow of traffic
to wander down quieter streets
music plays while I walk
people shout to each other
birds sing
~

croci huddle in small clusters
along the walk
pressed by ice and snow
of a sudden storm
winter won’t let go
air too cold for barefeet
I sit perched on the porch
watching fat flakes hit the pine
until I can no longer see
for the white covered window
blind in the moment
I close my eyes
holding my tea cup closer
to feel the heat
and smell the chai steam
memories crawl out
I am heavy now underneath
untouched for years
waiting for spring
~

give it time
the music said
please
radio waves in the night
notes from the weatherstation
he sleeps in a chair
tucked in the corner
undisturbed by the sound
soft voice escapes
no one hears
turn the arrow
thinking of the melody
I wonder who thinks of me
while I am dreaming
~

V

beyond your gentle fingers touch
where blue sky lays itself down
small white clouds and birds
are home there with the wind
where the path crosses the stream
water runs in the woods to join the river
I hear you breathing
stretching out
reaching
warming soil
drawing in light
I hear you breathing
whispered song
reminds me
on the hill
under pine and cedar
the hawk turns to greet me
yellow eyes watching closely
your song he knows
I step up
over fallen trees
I hear you breathing
and forget my own

IV

turn down the volume
candles burn loudly
on the table
heartbeat like thunder
I hold my breath
to find stillness
darkness creeps in
~

III

deep night calls
what dreams will fill you
while you sleep?
I wonder
Perhaps you do not
and sit behind a screen to write
or at a desk to draw
what thoughts drift like smoke
from late fires
into the velvet air?
~

I am gone
lost in the moment
sunlight piercing the blinds
at eye level
bathed in warmth
as winter leaves

I am gone
morning opens the sky
wing unfolded towards the blue
a trial left behind
where will I go?
wherever the wind takes me

I am gone
dissolved with ice
melted into the soil
a rumor mingled
with the brook’s song
and then no more
~