lean against the light

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lean against the light,

eyes closed, not to block but to listen.

I walked around the broken sticks and torn clothing; tiptoed through broken glass and shredded dreams.

breathing hurt. At least until the sun burst through and flooded the room.

what if it is all just weather?

the storms, the heavy clouds, the sunburst mornings, the frost and falling snow?

what if…

in the stillness, in between this breath, the next and the next, I let go. no fixing the past, or knowing the future, just being

here

I have railed against it. Spitting and chewing the fear and sadness.

I have bent low and pleaded.

I have scraped against the shell of skin containing me

and nothing changed

breathing in

breathing out

still breathing

while the monkeys chattered on in my ear

lean into the light while it shines

then let the rain fall over to drench this body

until the wind can let it dry before beginning once again

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