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There is a rule that I was talk when I joined a writing workshop a decade ago that I have never forgotten. When you are diving into writing about something, whether it is an event from your past, a relationship, a topic, it is better to wait for at least five years before attempting to free-fall. The five year rule, in theory, gives enough time and space for the writer to digest, heal or do whatever needs to happen in order for the writing to be raw, authentic, and perhaps a little less painful to relive I am not sure whose rule that was originally, but I have never been able to put it out of my mind.
It has been twenty-nine years and I still struggle to put into words what I experienced while staying in Africa. I could probably make a list of reasons why but after making several attempts over the years to do so, I think a better approach will be to not think about it, and just write. When I start thinking about it, I get lost in the thinking and the writing doesn’t happen. The problem for me right now is, I keep having dreams that involve the people that I lived there with. After such a long period of time, I am waking up each morning after having vivid dreams, being able to smell the market in Dakar, hear the voices of old friends sitting under the mango tree in the heat of the day and the scuttle of lizards in the rafters. The pull to write it all down again is very strong, and as much as I would like to ignore it, I cannot. I have unboxed the old photographs that I have stored away, gathered the fragments of writing I have written in the past decade and set them on my desk to wait for me each day when I get home from work.
I will spend the next hundred and eight days writing about Senegal, what I remember and what I don’t. I will write whatever comes up. I will be brave, and write through the parts that have always stopped me. I will write and let whatever comes up sit on these lines. I will not tear the pages out of my notebook and shred them. I will not throw away (again) the notebooks that I fill with thoughts, musing, and memories. I will just write. I might even share some of what I write. I make no promises, but I will try.
Leigh
