lei fraser

Wind hurled itself against the house, shaking the windows. Kalli’s eyes were huge in the shadows. “Is it over?” she asked. “No”

The tapping on the window assaulted me. I groaned and rolled over, pressing the pillow onto my head. “Go away, stupid bird”.

The tapping on the window assaulted me. I groaned and rolled over, pressing the pillow onto my head. “Go away, stupid bird”.

20 minutes free fall – whatever comes up

“Millicent” David shouted up the stairs. “We have to go now. I can’t be late to catch this flight”. He straightened his tie and looked at his watched. He sighed. His luggage was piled precariously in the hallway. He double checked his pockets. He had his papers, his passport, his iPod, gum and wallet. David quickly ran through the list in his mind. When he was certain he had not forgotten anything, he yelled again for his sister to come downstairs.

“Millicent. Goddammit get your ass down here, we’ve got to go!” he yelled. He stomped across the hardwood floor and looked in the den. He was just about the shout again when Millicent came down the old winding staircase. She was calm and unhurried.

“finally” David said, heaving a sigh of relief that could have been mistaken for mockery. Millicent said nothing. She walked passed him and opened the front door. David quickly gathered up his bags and headed outside into the street. He piled everything in the backseat of the car. Millicent folded herself into the driver’s seat. She did not look at David when he piled into the seat beside her.

“We have an hour to get there. I have to check in and then go through security. I hope that there isn’t much traffic.” David said. He looked at his watch again.

“I am sure it will be fine” he said. He watched the streetlights go by through the window. It had started to rain. The light bounced through the raindrops on the windshield.

“Put on the wipers. I can’t see.” David said testily. He didn’t wait for Millicent to turn them on. He flicked the lever himself and the wipers leaped into action, clearing the glass of the offending waterdrops.

“Watch it, you’re driving too close to that car. What if he suddenly braked? I’d miss my flight, that’s what” David said. He started to chew on the finger nail of his index finger. The skin around the nail was already raw and torn. Millicent did not say a word. She drove in silence. David become more and more anxious with every block.

“Aren’t you going to say something? I am going to be leaving on a plane in an hour and 45 minutes. I don’t know when i am going to see you again. Are you angry with me?” David craned his head to look at his sister. She didn’t turn to meet his eyes.

“I’m not angry David.” she said quietly. The traffic light turned red. Millicent slowed the car down to a stop. David looked at his watch. He pressed his hands together and then held them in his lap.

“You seem angry.” He said. The light turned green. Millicent moved the car forward with the traffic.
~

20 minutes. free fall, whatever comes up
~

“Are you comfortable?” she asked. She walked around the chair that I was strapped into, checking the restraints and her clipboard alternately. I felt the soft leather and cold stainless steel sensors under my palms.

“No” I said. I wasn’t comfortable. The chair was not the problem. The chair never was. I was anticipating what was coming next. My skin ached already. Dr. Newman’s assistant smiled at me. It wasn’t a real smile. I knew that it wasn’t. Her eyes were blue and dead. She moved the muscles around her mouth – trained automatic response. She looked down at the clipboard again and began reading from the page. I wondered why she never memorized the speech. It was the same one every time.

“Do you understand the purpose of this session?” she stated.

“Yes” I said.

“We are studying the relationship between the individual and pattern recognition and how that relates to pain and/ or discomfort, both psychological and physical” she continued. I nodded. I didn’t want to watch her. She certainly wasn’t watching me. She could barely look away from her script. I stared instead at the blank white screen that was hanging from the ceiling behind her. I have been here before many times. The screen would leap to life in the next five minutes. They weren’t kidding about the pain. Discomfort was a welcome relief when it came during the session. I wondered if they took into account the level of tolerance I was building up with each session. I didn’t mention it. Probably they had already considered that possibility. Probably it was the desired result. I let the girl continue. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. On the other side of the room the monitors and machines were buzzing and chirping at each other in anticipation.

“You have ingested no food, alcohol, drugs or liquids 72 hours prior to this session?” she asked. Her voice was strained. Usually she had a pinched voice but today it was more than usual. I wanted to interrupt her and ask why she was so anxious but I didn’t.

“No.” I said. My stomach roared, as though to reinforce my answer. I missed food.

“The results of this session and any previous sessions are held in complete confidence.” She kept speaking. The obligatory disclaimers about injury and death. I stopped to listen. The words would make no difference in the end. She snapped the top of the clipboard and walked to the door behind me. I stared at the screen. I could hear her talking behind the glass door. Seconds later her tinny voice came over the intercom.

“We’re ready to begin.” She said. I didn’t respond. I felt the first pinpricks of sweat under my scalp. They were ready. One of the machines began to whir and click. I squeezed the arm of the chair when it began.
~

‘Oh there you are.’ Lila said. ‘Yes’. I stood in the doorway, waiting to come in. ‘You’re late.’ she said. ‘I had nothing to say.’

“You see?” he asked. She didn’t. “Right here, you missed a spot.” She rolled her eyes. She wanted to clock him – instead she smiled.

‘Oh there you are.’ Lila said. ‘Yes’. I stood in the doorway, waiting to come in. ‘You’re late.’ she said. ‘I had nothing to say.’

“You see?” he asked. She didn’t. “Right here, you missed a spot.” She rolled her eyes. She wanted to clock him – instead she smiled.

“Hope comes quietly, dear one” he said. Daniel reached for her and held her close. They listened as the first bombs shook the shed.

“Hope comes quietly, dear one” he said. Daniel reached for her and held her close. They listened as the first bombs shook the shed.

Iris climbed as high as she could. The branches bent down to help.She didn’t see the stranger until he was just below on the road.