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saying goodbye
The day after my last post here, December 19th, my mother died unexpectedly. I am not in a place to be able to write about it, or her right now. I am sitting with my grief as best I can. My mother was 78. I miss her . — read more
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Twelve Days of Christmas – Unsent Letters
I found some unsent letters that I wrote sixteen years ago. I wrote them for the twelve days of Christmas. I don’t remember why I started writing them, or who each letter was for. I also did not know it at the time, but a year later, my world would shatter and life would never… — read more
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I didn’t ask for this
I didn’t ask for thisthese lines and curves etched in stonebroken songs lost poetryinterrupted by the turningof the sunthe moonI didn’t ask for thisthe wandering stringsthat tie this heart to anotherheld by a fish hook throughscaled flesh in spite of myselfbroken songslost poetry interrupted by the turning of the sunthe moonI didn’t ask for thiswhen… — read more
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tournesol
One summer, long time ago, I grew this sunflower. By grew, I mean I planted the seeds, watered and weeded, but mostly just watched as the flower grew and grew. It grew taller than the eavestrough of the house I was living at the time. I did not measure it, but it was huge compared… — read more
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still
a part of meremains unchangedin the timewe have knowneach otheryour reflectiona dropfallingto meet the calm, coollake watermoments wrapped in layerslike pebbles rollingin endless wavesI am therethat part of methat has alwaysbeen tumblingYou are therein those rolling ripplesthe ones you madethrough my lifewith simple wordswith lovethereand I am no longer unseen~lei fraser 2021 — read more
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time
like a fly crawlingacross the screen dooron a hot August afternoontime passesin slow plodding stepswhen you are goneI listen to the cicada screamin the treesthe heat of the day growsas I coax another minuteon the clock to stumbleinto the pastyou are never farfrom my thoughtsstill I count the minutesthe hoursthe daysuntil I hear your voiceagainknowing… — read more
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where
wheredo I beginalong these empty linesto unfold the dayslay them out on the deskin carefully crafted phraseswind them in delicate circlesaround my bodytucked into a thousand pieces of paperwaiting for the north windto catch them through the windowbeginningwith hopelaughterin the fresh crisp airdays stretch over rooftopslong lines left by sunsets and shadowswaiting for the sky… — read more
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turn the dial
turn the dial as the sun passes the window orange glow soup heats on the stove I stretch my arms to wrap around the empty space empty embrace before me fluorescent light distorts my reflection lines point in different directions around the eyes don’t know where to look to find the truth which line to… — read more
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intersection
lines on the page drawn with a careful hand outlines move in slow curves to the centre crossing over in unexpected intersections blank pages slowly fill colour pulled by sunlight sneaking through cracks we are okay alone living in the corners of our soul but together is better when the lines meet before continuing on… — read more
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your voice falls
your voice falls over me like honey from a spoon held high enough to slip down to cover to soothe to calm me I breathe again for the first time not realizing I had held my breath for years breath comes dressed in laughter in tears in healing in freedom an unintended gift perhaps not… — read more
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the pause after the end
the pause after the end leaning into another beginning that place I want need to step into it fold my body fold my heart fold myself to curl around you to hold you close to me and be held beyond the edge of myself but like a thousand steel needles I fear if I close… — read more
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I have let these threads
I have let these threads weave between us in loose and fragile patterns that complicates itself in the futility of existence I go and return to you as the sun passes the window pulling light into corners where it has not touched yet before leaving again I wake and sleep not moving in this isolation… — read more
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lei fraser 