the world is so much bigger

heart fog

the world is so much bigger
than I make it
eyes sewen shut by fear
by shame
scissors score the strings
thread by thread lid to lash
opens
little windows collected
in long lines across the screen
so that I might just catch
a glimpse
as people run by

I have missed you
your faces, your eyes
your smiles
in the long darkness
under sorrow
I have missed you

I have eaten enough
let twisted words and malice
follow too closely
biting at heels like
hungry wasps and savage dogs

yes, I did turn and kneel down
with care and concern
for the heart deep with in
to a fault
extended not one hand but two
only to be left bleeding
alone

standing now,
I would have done no differently
we are the same red inside
under the wide arms of the same sky
I bear those scars behind me

I am taking not a step
but a leap
holding nothing

I forgive myself
for the mistakes I have made
for the ones I will make
I am a work in progress

I am just me.

the world is so much
now that the heart fog
is clearing
breathing life through me

the world is so much bigger
and I am so much better for it

~ Leigh-Anne Fraser

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