the world is so much bigger

heart fog

the world is so much bigger
than I make it
eyes sewen shut by fear
by shame
scissors score the strings
thread by thread lid to lash
little windows collected
in long lines across the screen
so that I might just catch
a glimpse
as people run by

I have missed you
your faces, your eyes
your smiles
in the long darkness
under sorrow
I have missed you

I have eaten enough
let twisted words and malice
follow too closely
biting at heels like
hungry wasps and savage dogs

yes, I did turn and kneel down
with care and concern
for the heart deep with in
to a fault
extended not one hand but two
only to be left bleeding

standing now,
I would have done no differently
we are the same red inside
under the wide arms of the same sky
I bear those scars behind me

I am taking not a step
but a leap
holding nothing

I forgive myself
for the mistakes I have made
for the ones I will make
I am a work in progress

I am just me.

the world is so much
now that the heart fog
is clearing
breathing life through me

the world is so much bigger
and I am so much better for it

~ Leigh-Anne Fraser

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