Today, I lost the light
following last rays through branches and leaves
in the evening
now deep night and I sit
listening to crickets sing
in small roaring voices to the darkness
trees mostly silent in their watching
I can no longer see
in the room or through the window
even by lamplight or candle
where it is my feet should go
one in front of the other
knees to wooden floor
forehead down
blind to what I must do
what I must choose
I slip into this moment
naked, alone
consume me shadows
I invite them to hold me
until there is nothing left
In the solitude, this stillness
I breathe and wait.
shadows press, unruly and too eager
to eat my failures, my loss, my grief
I am too empty to stop them
my mind and heart stripped
laid bare
go, I breathe,
take what is left
this life falls off my fingertips
out of my hand
out of me
I am lost
the tiniest voice cries
I do not stop it from roaring
or stop the painful flow
drain me of the past
let the husk dry
to the brittle dust
it is meant to be
for morning to come
and sweep it away
I breathe
and let the questions
chase themselves
until sunrise.
~
lei fraser 