conversations and sunshine

 

Here…
Here I sit with the world
Tilted and dangling from a string
Tied to my finger, index of course,
Trailing as I walked earlier, along my own path
Into the forest:
You there, try to remember that it’s there,
Dragging behind
You let it be bashed
Against the stony path
It is caught in the thorns, torn
As you scrambled passed
To find your own place to sit
in the last patch of sun left
Clearing
Watching
And waiting
Waiting for what?
The crows sit in treetops,

Screechng the mocking question:
As derisive as the waiting
For what??
WHAT DO
I yell for the sake of it:
YOU WANT – what from me?
You’ve cleared the path
Emptied the shelves,
Broken down the walls
Thrown away the excess
And everything else along with it
WHAT now do you look for –
Clambering over debris
Left to rot along the forest floor?
Ignoring the growth beneath
Young and tender sheltered
By the putrid mass above
Talking into the air so no one can respond

Look here:

This bruise here and there…
Scrapes and superficial wounds
You don’t even remember how –
You silly twit – how they arrived
Lost in the clouds as always,
While the world drowned behind yo
Do you know that blade that waits you –
To cut loose the life within?
Waits as long as you seek
To emerge from its leather sheath
To breath the crisp air
Drawn against the flesh
Held a moment long enough
To reflect the sun like a sigh
Then will cut away the last threads that
Hold you
– me together
I can’t help but think of how
I have been waiting –
Waiting to come home
When this blade of truth finds me,
When the point meets me
With perfect union –
Spills my own blood, my own life
My own ideas, my own fears
My own hopes, my everything…
And yet
I sit here in false serenity
Waiting and seeking
Talking with my self still
While the world around churns
in agony:
The Truth that eats
The false promises you made yourself
The plans gone like brittle leaves in the wind
The Truth feeds itself
To grow until you can feel it
And the world falls away from your finger
You were never part of it anyway
Until all that is left is you, here.
The shadows grow longer as the sun
Slips beyond my reach
I will sleep here
Waiting for this death to reach me instead
Tomorrow I will wake the same
And yet not
In a forest I will not know any more
than I did before
Did I ever know?
In sleeping I untied the knot You had made
In waking – tied again and again
In living wanted, waited, loved
Searched, prayed, cried, laughed,
Shook, held, grew with You
Now, letting go
Undone
Live again.
To wake with the sunrise of
Another day
To fly with the wind
And where it takes me.

08.08.05
Leigh Tyson

 

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