day 8: silver thistles, inspiration and mending what’s broken

When I first sat down to write today’s gratitude entry, I came up with a blank. I asked myself, what are you thankful for today. Nothing came. It’s not that I am not grateful, or don’t have things to be grateful for, but in that moment, it was just an empty moment. I have been feeling kind of empty this week, after learning that a friend, who I met at work, died on Saturday. She was a very sweet person, full of life and I enjoyed many long talks with her whenever she came in. We were working on writing a history of the Boys & Girls Club of London and the Horton Street Seniors Centre for the past five years. It was a pet project for both of us. Recording history, stories of members, how the Club impacted on their lives and the changes the organization has gone through over the years. I will miss her and the talks that we had. Luckily, I saw her before Christmas – we sat for an hour talking and catching up. She had been ill for awhile but was feeling well enough that day to come in and visit. She was going away for Christmas and January to Arizona. She was excited about it. It was a shock to learn Monday that she had passed. She had her secrets. Unfortunately she didn’t tell me she was sick with stomach cancer. I didn’t know. I am grateful for people who come into my life, even if it can only for a short period of time, and who affect me in a deep and profound way. It is difficult not to be sad when they are gone but grateful to have had the chance to know and spend time with them. I don’t know if our little pet project will ever be completed now, but I am glad that we worked together on it.

I am grateful that I am not afraid to fix something when it breaks. I can usually figure it out and fix it. I like to be independent that way. The rule that things happen in threes is true. The furnace, the dryer and the windshield wipers on my car all “exploded” in the span of the last two days. Luckily now, they are all repaired as well.

I am grateful for unexpected gifts and kindness from people. I have been looking for a silver brooch for many years, one similar to a brooch my grandmother used to have. I don’t know why, but lately I have been thinking about it again, and have had a strong ‘need’ to find one for myself. I went into the cafe at work this morning to order some breakfast, when one of my friends, a member, jumped up out of her seat and came hurrying over to me. She had gone through her things and found a brooch that she had. She wanted to see if it was similar to the one I was looking for. It is very close. She insisted on giving it to me. It was such a kind and thoughtful thing to do, and a gift that I will keep close to my heart.

I am also grateful for people’s sense of wonder and amazement. I rarely write about these kinds of things or go into much detail about it, but today something beautiful happened in my meditation class. I led the class as I usually do Wednesday mornings. A new meditation came through today – I usually wait to see what is inspired by the people in the class, tuning into their energy and conversations prior to the class beginning. After the 20 minute meditation, we sit together and talk about anything that may have happened/ come up. Quite often it is about something personal, related to health or emotions… the chat at the end is a nice way for people in the class to ask questions, share a bit of what is going on for them, and release anything that might have stirred them up during the quiet parts of the meditation. Today a new setting and focus came up. It had quite an impact on everyone, and the chat was filled with wonder and amazement. It is humbling and inspiring to hear someone talk about what they have experienced, especially if it amazes them. They (in the class) often think I have something to do with what happens, but I don’t. It’s just them becoming more open and aware of what happens on any ordinary day. A simple opportunity to reconnect and become centred can be amazing, no doubt, but the only thing I ‘do’  is allow for it to happen for others. and when it does, it is wonderful. I am grateful for the victories of others.

today I am grateful for:

1. people

2. being mechanically minded and able to fix stuff when it breaks down because it always tends to happen and in threes…

3. unexpected gifts and people’s kindness towards me

4. people’s sense of wonder and amazement. It is humbling and inspiring.

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