untitled

It is as though the end strangles me
When I sit here, hands poised on the desk,
Trying, in vain, to complete one sentence…
I am not able to manage to do it
Not when the leaves on the tree outside,
Framed asymmetrically by the window and
Struggling to lift up from the branch
Cannot move…
Not even the faint whisper of a breeze can aid them
Of course the idea,
a seed left for a starving mind to devour
Could not be left on the screen
or alone on the rim of my thoughts
not when something longs to be expressed
(however illusive and meandering)
and walking through the thick velvety curtains
of another summer afternoon
fails to deter me from the obvious
let the page fall to white
incomplete

~

26.06.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

unfolded

under the pass
where the river bends
to the north
I stand to think
before long sitting on
the jagged shore
willows hang low
where at dusk
fireflies
dance in the grass
finally free in the
long, cool shadows
a moment’s grace
at the end of
the heavy heat of
another summer day
Oh Moon,
your silver face
bent close to see,
reflected in the tiny waves
and ripples below
even the stone,
firmly resting in the riverbed
bows to the flowing water
carrying you, the light
and the night with it
here,
this is where
I breathe
like leaves
widespread
to catch the dew

~

26.06.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

out beyond the sea

Out beyond the sea –
This is where I look
When I am standing on the shore
But if I was out there where would I look?
If I sat, in perfect balance with each wave
Like a petal fallen from the stem
Just after the time of blooming
Rocked in those unseen arms
Cradled unwittingly
Where would I look
Which direction?
To the sky who’s broad face
Would smile endlessly down over me
Or out to the tips of my fingers
Extended in every direction
With only ocean in sight
Or down
Down past my own reflection
Looming deep to where the fish
And other creatures of the sea
Live, lurk and wait
What is plain of course leaves me breathless
While the other
The other, in its unknown splendor
Leaves me shivering
But doesn’t stop me from looking
Watching, feeling, wondering
What lays below beyond the reach
Of the sea

~

22.05.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

to you

I know who you are
And then don’t because
I choose to wander with my eyes
Half closed and stupid
And not my heart
You – it’s like looking around a corner
Using the glass shattered on the ground
In front of my next step
To show your reflection before
I make the turn
Oh – you are not as elusive as
I’d like you to be
Dressed in the clothes
That I thought I had discarded
Not wanted
Even forgotten
I would set each of you
So fancy in your pants and
Mocking faces
Along the edge like
Chess pieces ready to be toppled
Except I lack the cleverness
To win the contest
I would just be the indignant child
Sweeping the pieces off
With my forearm and fist
Ah you – it is comfort that I seek
In looking at you like you are
A mirror of myself
Searching in the wrinkled corners
Of your eyes, the hollowness of
Your smile – looking for something
That has long since eluded me
Except for in dreams or other such
Delusions
It doesn’t matter now
You can tottle off and leave me here
To sort it out
The sun, the moon, each on its own path
And I am just the witness
To it all – including you
Yes – it’s not a good ending for
A poem that never ends with you
I know

~

22.05.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

to the love that I miss being

Outside the window
As night creeps through the branches
And the sky blushes as it would
When the sun rises in the morning
Blushes caught, unexpectedly naked
And longing for what has passed
What has yet to come
This is when I find myself wishing
Like a fool
For what is gone or never was
Never could be or always was
But I was too stupid to notice
I can hear the doves, sleepy in their cooing
Calling out to each other
Or just calling out – who knows really which
Cars roll by after a long work day
And the smell of the heat from the sun
Still lingering in the air
The love
That I miss being
Is stretched out and laying
Across the shadows in the yard

~

22.05.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

when the wing falls in moonlight

tonight
tomorrow is another day
for other thoughts
as always
tonight
the past and other
worlds collide
the angel wings
and fallen ones
like unfinished poetry
float through
the night, the ether
confusion is
starkly contrasted by
the clear sky
and full moon
questions dot the horizon
like stars just now seen
what, if now you see
who I am
and have always been
is not enough
for you to believe?
what if it is never going to
be enough?
and this I know already…
the night sky holds
little comfort
that instead
like blooms across my table
open in the lamp light
the love light
my light
so that, yes, finally
I see.

~

02.05.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

finally sun

finally sun
reflected
in the sharp corners
and hard surfaces
flung out
across the ground
walking barefoot
my choice
I step here
step there
cut my foot on
hidden dangers
walk further
in the sunshine
until the sun dips down
behind the rows
of houses and
the silhouettes
of still bare trees
waiting for buds and
blossoms to open
finally sun
and its shadows
to follow along
the long empty streets

~

18.04.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

like the brush of a wing

these days that pass
like the brush of a wing
laughter that rushes in
on the long arms of the wind
these days that propel me
forward, onward, upward
lift me and hold me high
it is the stones that ground me
in the somber moments
remind me of the depth
of soil of soul
always within my grasp
tips of fingers down
and then to fly
to fly

~

17.04.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

shadows and sunlight

shadows and sunlight
dress the yard and
remind me of the rest
the leaves that cover
the flowers slowly
moving upward
protection against
the last remnants of winter
birds, squatting and restless
on the naked branches
wind flustered and hungry
from the long return
it is dangerous
to breathe
to write
to live
when the world
is tilted at an angle
what slips off?
what goes unnoticed?
what leaves before
goodbye touches
the lips?
dangerous but
not impossible
not when the shock
of yellow crocus
erupts through
and the buds explode
on the vine
long enough
to remind
the world
in its tilting way
there is more
to come

~

13.04.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

what if the hokey pokey IS what it’s all about?

There are different versions of this children’s song. I have vivid memories as a very young child, trying to do the actions of this song with my friends at school. I never understood at that time what a hokey or a pokey was but I thought it was great fun to jump in and out of the circle and shake around. Lately, I have been thinking about the song – that time of my life as a child and the deeper meaning that I have come to understand about both.

Sometimes, it takes awhile to get involved in life – to fully grasp what it is that you want/ need to do in life. To be perfectly honest, I have never been to the point where I could say, ah! – this is it. It is all I need, and that is for a few reasons. One reason is, that I am fickle and easily distracted. I have moved from one thing to another, relatively easily distracted, exploring, experiencing and generally allowing myself to get more and more lost in the sheer volume of things to do. The other reason is, I have never quite been at peace or comfortable with myself. This is splinters off into other reasons, explanations, none of which I can write about here (because I don’t choose to, and doesn’t have a direct impact on what the point is of this) – but the bottom line is that I have never been comfortable with who I am, not deep down. This isn’t a good or bad thing, it is just how it goes, as I have been getting to know myself better, understand where I am coming from as a person etc. It is the root cause of my moving from one thing to another like a drunken butterfly, erratically flying from flower to flower in an endless field. Of course, the other big reason for not having sorted out what it was – is that this process is fluid and I am discovering that more and more, there is no true end or beginning to these things that I am jumping into or out of… it is constantly moving, turning and dancing around like the children in this song, and that is a really beautiful thing. Whether or not I manage to put only a hand in something, or my head, or my foot, in the end, my whole self goes into each project and I get shaken about. The shaking is the best part, because I start to thinking in ways that I didn’t before, act in ways I didn’t before, and learn in ways I didn’t before.

I think the hokey pokey might just be what it is all about….

~

la

You put your left foot in,
You take your left foot out
Your put your left foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about.
You put your right foot in
You take your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about
You put your left hand in
You take your left hand out
You put your left hand in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about.
You put your right hand in
You take your right hand out
You put your right hand in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about
You put your head in
You take your head out
Your put your head in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about
You put your whole self in
You take your whole self out
You put your whole self in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about

a night without

quiet stillness
wrapped unwrapped
not meant for comfort
not tonight
but for opportunity
to hear
to listen
and to see
the difference in where
the two meet

and where
they meet
where do they meet?
there is no comfort
not there or here
mind responsible again for
leaving the rest awake
wandering
at times
but then focused
clear

what is done is done
what must be done
will be

life falls
through the water
like sand
falling to the ocean floor
and laying itself out
in layered piles
clumps that slump
against each other
waiting for the years
to harden them into
something beautiful

but now
maliable and shifting
with the waves and currents
no neat pieces
falling together
none
and that
that is ok.

a night without
and not knowing
what is missing
~
21.03.07
Leigh-Anne Tyson

it is not wise

it is not wise,
a voice mentioned
as I opened up the book
turned to an empty page
and held the pen
ready to begin
it is not wise to write
when your fever climbs
again
and your head aches
to the point where it is easier to sit
eyes closed, to type,
then read later
but this way, after trading the pen
for the pc
I can feel the words from my toes, slowly climbing
and count then the typos
when I hope my eyes again
ah – I typed hope instead of open
an interesting mistake
I tried to correct and typed home
instead – perhaps best to just leave
hope where it is
you realize that no one will understand
the point of this – and why you are not
taking better care
what defines better now?
when the Scot in me
stamps her foot and says dammit
I will not lose to a microbe and plus
I am not losing – just frustrated
that I am spending more time asleep
than awake – after not being able to sleep
before
this irony is annoying
perhaps it is time to take the tools
away
close the book
unplug the rest
close the eyes again
and pray tomorrow’s sun brings
a reprieve
no more typos.
time to sleep
again
dammit
this is as useful as a chocolate teapot

~

12.03.07
la tyson