A complicated kindness

new assignment – write the first paragraph of a novel. 20 minutes of writing whatever comes up.
~

Neva rushed to catch the door of the apartment building before it swung shut and left her locked out in the street. She shivered as she shook off the slush and snow that had piled quickly onto her shoulders and hair. It was a two minute walk from the subway, but the winter was fierce this year. It was snowing furiously outside, and she was glad to not be out in it any longer. She bent down to adjust her knee-high leather boots and turned her head to look down the hallway to the elevator. The band of golden light was moving to a thin sliver.

“Shit” Neva said out loud. “Hold the door!” She called out and hurried down the tiled marble floor. Her heel s clacked and clicked, echoing against the bare walls. The elevator door continued to close, uninterrupted until the last possible moment, when a gloved hand suddenly shot out to keep it from closing completely. The door relented and slid back open with barely a whisper of protest. Neva rushed in, consumed by the gold interior light.

“Thanks” she said. She was breathless, and leaned back against the wall. Snowflakes melted against her skin. Neva touched her face absently. She glanced out into the empty hallway before the elevator door closed and then turned to see who it was that held the door for her. Her flirty smile froze on her lips, and the colour drained from her cheeks. The last thing she saw was the flash of white light, then the elevator was plunged into darkness.
~

eyes that stare at me

Eyes that stare at me
Lamenting at my ugliness
No trace of beauty can be found
In the folds of such plain dress
But look deeper
Into the dark recesses of my mind
Search for beauty there
Perhaps that is what you will find
Beauty buried so deep
That it cannot blossom forth
Like the delicate rosebud
Never considered for all its worth
End this terrible tormenting
Stop insisting on what I must be
For all that comes is all I can give
And all I can give is me
~

eyes that stare at me

Eyes that stare at me
Lamenting at my ugliness
No trace of beauty can be found
In the folds of such plain dress
But look deeper
Into the dark recesses of my mind
Search for beauty there
Perhaps that is what you will find
Beauty buried so deep
That it cannot blossom forth
Like the delicate rosebud
Never considered for all its worth
End this terrible tormenting
Stop insisting on what I must be
For all that comes is all I can give
And all I can give is me
~

the rain last night left me sleepless

the rain last night left me sleepless
it sang against the window
in the deepest hours
left me restless and wondering
about the smallest moments of my life

where will this wandering take me?
though now i feel i am waiting
like one of those raindrops
hoping to fall from the window sill
to join others in something bigger
than myself

one day maybe i will realize
maybe not until the sun shines again
that in that moment before i disappear
to return again to the sky
i am everything i can be
i am everything i am

i watch the raindrop patterns
as they dance across the glass
i cannot make any sense of them,
but i know just what they are
there can’t be only one raindrop that
falls on a cold november night
and i am waiting for the sun to rise
stubborn in my blindness
waiting to understand
waiting to be free
waiting to be me

~